Dry January

Christmas has fled on spiteful January winds,

Seasonal goodwill tucked safely a year away,

Let’s all go back to being cold, queuing Brits,

Except we’re persuaded to abstain from booze,

Marvellous and with no fallout on Valentine’s,

December joy is not a bargain in January sales.

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Season’s Greetings, gone with annoying relatives,

So just sit back and relax, enjoy a nice cup of tea,

But wait, it’s January and still mid-season finale,

Yuletide lights are faded leaving the walking dead,

Annoying people in the rat race you can’t whack,

Continuing as vermin in dank, corporate sewers.

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Jingle bells are replaced by a screeching alarm,

Traffic jams overtake all the knots in Xmas lights,

Back to the grindstone is a right tired cracker joke,

Kiss the boss’s arse and with no mistletoe in sight,

A waistline gets expanded beyond all recognition,

Eating steamed veg, adds to drudgery’s resolution.

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What a terrible month to suddenly go cold turkey?

Heartburn’s chill smudges is now your winter blues,

Festive cheer has gone south, rather stale, like beer,

Jack Frost has sent Santa Claus on his merry way,

Dancing on red noses, head colds and gained weight,

Life goes on, and on, is full of post Xmas gas, as per.